The Secret of the Ooze (April 17th)

With Rome in the rear view mirror, if a train had one, Jordan and I set out to a Renaissance land: Florence, Italy. A place that harbored the artistic vision of greats like Leonardo, Michelangelo, Raphael, and Donatello (Turtle Power!). Something must have been in the water...or maybe the sewers????

None of this was in Jordan and I’s pool of knowledge as we set foot in this city, neither was knowing a place to stay! But see our ‘good friend’ Katy Bird (more on her in coming days) was suppose to let us know where she would be staying as she had a dress walking down the run way in a fashion show that evening in Florence. But alas after many attempts, NOTHING from her.

So Jordan and I do what we do best…wander.

Eventually we got a hostel. We checked in and found TWO blonde haired Aussie chicks (that is Australian for you Northern Hemisphere Separatist out there). And they happened to be TWINS!! This of course would be great news for Jordan and I if these two facts were true:

1) We were single.
2) If they were twin Christianas!

But alas, neither was true, so we just had nice conversations with them instead.

Of course, I speak tongue and cheek; they were a lot of fun and cool accents as well.

Now on with the story. Jordan and I walked around the streets of Florence and stumped upon what is the biggest outdoor leather market I will probably ever see. For blocks and blocks the streets are lined with legitimate (and illegitimate) street venders waiting to play their best Monte Hall part in the game of “Let’s Make a Deal.”

Jordan found a wallet he wanted. So he went once to look at it. Waited about ten minutes and went to look at it, thinking that now he could haggle with the guy, but didn’t. Then a half hour later, went back a third time, ready this time to haggle the price down from 14 Euro.

That is when the vendor says to him, “You have already been here 3 times.” Jordan had lost all the power. But with his amazing charisma and wit, he was able to talk the guy all the way down to 13 Euros!!

After this amazing example of male fortitude, Jordan and I decided to keep wandering and not stand in line to see Michangelo's David as we would go tomorrow instead in the morning.

Lets skip to the night life.

As you may recall from our pervious blogs, Jordan and I tore up France with our Salsa dancing. Well, now it was time to tear up Italy with our Clubbin skills!

It took us a while to get to the club as we made the mistake of following two drunk New York Frat Dawgs (that is Fraternaity boys for my mom who is reading this) who were convinced that they knew where they were going. Anywho, once at the club, Jordan and I passed on the €8.50 drinks and just headed to the dance floor to get our groove on.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank Jesse (one half of the Aussie Twins), Andy (from the OC), and Mary (from Florida) for sticking by Jordan and I as we perfectly excuted the white man's over bit while dancing in a way that would make Mary Shelly proud.

Quick side story: Drunk Candian girl was so wasted that she started making out with NY Frat Dawg #1 then switched to NY Frat Dawg #2 (who were brothers by the way) then I saw her with some other guy in the corner...and I bet she doesn't remember a thing...good luck to her.

Well, after a few akward flat footed dance moves, it was time for us to head back to the hostel. And to our groups delight, Tiger Woods and Christopher Kensington (Jordan and I's English Alter Egos) gave a walking tour of the Florence. I bet you all wish you could have been there.

We were glad we were.

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Gelato Count
Scott - 7
Jordan - 7